What would it be like to start the year off, caring less? How often do you find yourself saying "yes," when truly you want to say "no"? What if this year you said, I'm going to be selective about where and how I give my attention, focus, energy, love, advice, time, money, etc.
Let's keep it simple and be selective about where your fucks are given!
Here are the five practices I intend to implement in the coming year to give fewer fucks.
1. Chill out, Ms. Over-thinker!
To give fewer fucks, but let Ms. Over-thinker feel heard, listen without reacting. Take her worrying, questioning, anxiety as a sign you've done something worth doing. Commit to the decision you made at the moment and then leave it in the past ready for whatever is coming up next.
Let the Over-thinker be heard, let her be apart of the crew, but don't ever let her steer the ship. That's never a good idea.
2. Care-less without being Careless.
Now I'm not saying, Fuck off. I'm saying fuck less. Fuck with intention. Choose wisely what you pour your caring vibes into. Think about the relationships in your life. What connections fill you up and which ones drain you? Which ones do you go 'ugh, I don't know if I have the energy to xzy right now". Examine those relationships, commitments, responsibilities in your life where there is only take and no return. How is this a healthy investment with your limited care vibes?
Let's care-less about those places in life that drain you and care enough about the ones that keep your engine running.
3. Set healthy boundaries.
This is for the people and things in your life that aren't going away, but you need to find a healthy way to co-exist. Create a healthy boundary within yourself that will take care of your needs and make it safe enough to show up. Creating this healthy boundary will keep your good vibes cooking inside and can transform your relationship with the "said" thing that is deemed unhealthy.
In some case, your healthy boundary will create an uninhabitable environment for this person or thing, that they will either leave or change because of the inner work you are doing. It's magic!
4. Risky Business; Take risks!
As far as I know, we all have one life to live, so might as well live it. I get it, fear gets in the way and makes you want to hide away in the comfort zone, but that feeling right there is the place to challenge.
The inner desire that says, "I want to be a writer, dancer, scientist, etc.". Listen to that voice. Cultivate that curiosity. Don't wait around for someone else to hear the voice and take action; you are responsible for your pathway. You are the only one that can make it happen. And yes the ego will get bruised up in the process, but its good for the ego to get shaken up now and then.
Whatever it is, make it happen, take that risk and who knows, something magical might just happen. Or you find out you don't want to be what you always dreamt of and now you get to dream up some new ideas to test!
5. No one truly knows WTF is going on here.
I know it seems people have it together but I guarantee the people you look up to and say "wow they have it all figured out" are the ones continually questioning themselves. Social media is not helpful in this last practice. Its the quickest tool to cut yourself down a peg and compare your pathway to someone else. I highly recommend dropping this ritual. It creates unnecessary pain and suffering.
What if you decide that everyone around you is just as clueless as you and chose to give whatever is in front of you your all. That confidently take a step in one direction will lead somewhere. That when you step into a hole and stumble, to remind yourself that everyone trips and falls, and sometimes there is something down there to take note of so you stop falling on your face so much.
Life doesn't get easier; you just get a little bit better at it.
Those are my five practices I intend to implement in my life and hope they help you in yours. It's all a bit of a trial and error, a work in progress! If you have tips, you would like to add or share how this was helpful. Please leave a note below!